Clean UD

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Optimism at its best.

A friend of mine asked me this interesting question:

“If you found out a girl is bi, would you think slut?”

My response said a lot about my personality:

“Nah, I’m a little more optimistic. I'd think threesome.”

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I live in the wrong state.

I live in central New Jersey, and one of the biggest airports in my area is the Newark Airport. Just recently – seeing as I am too unaware of these kinds of things to notice earlier – I discovered that it is a hotspot airport for terrorists.

Some random lady walked through the metal detectors, set the alarm off, but managed to elude airport security for an entire twenty minutes before it finally caught her. I think in that time, the lady could’ve had a cheese sandwich, read the front page of the newspaper, defecated, ate some ice cream and made a few casual phone calls – all before setting off a bomb.

Is that even possible? Aren’t there like five effin’ guards hovering around those detectors? What the shit where they doing when the alarm got set off?

I heard this story on a radio show. They went on to say that in Tampa, Florida, a 90-year-old lady was stripped down and searched when she sounded the alarm.

There’s something so horribly wrong with this picture… I’m living in the wrong state. The one I live in has people casually walking around for a whole twenty minutes after setting off an alarm, yet down south, you can be a 90-year-old women and still get strip searched immediately (And that‘s before asking questions, bitches).